Wow the last day of the year...

Time to leave 2008 behind.

In the beginning of this year I was broke depressed and feeling like my world was caving in. I was with Chris, the father of my three youngest children. He had no job and we had no money. I worked and was earning really good money yet we didn't even have food on Christmas day. I felt sorry for myself because I thought I loved Chris, and he was going through some shit in his life, so I thought that one day it would get better. He has four other children out there and never held a job long enough to support us let alone the other ones. I knew deep down that I didn't want to be with him, that I was allowing him to drag me down. I knew deep down that he would never stop cheating on me and lying to me and stealing from me. I allowed all this to happen. It wasn;t my FAULT but I allowed it to happen by taking him back last year under false pretences. I knew he was shit but yet I felt sorry for him.

Then I had a breakdown and walked out on my job. The best job that I'd ever had. I fought with my boss and walked out on her. Then I had the fortune to hear what the woman at Print Blocks had to say when she left a message for me on my phone. There was a job opening that I had been interested in, but it seems that my work ability and ethic was judged simply by my message bank message which was a little chipmonk thing just laughing...I did it for the kids because the girls were beginning to hav their friends call them, so we did it for kicks...however it wasn't good enough for madame Print Blocks...she failed to hang up the phone after leaving an abrupt "heidi it's_____ from Print Blocks returning your call. Call me on Monday" slam goes the phone BUT not properly, in the next breath I hear in a rather snobbish voice "Well I WON"T be emplyer her/ he he he , if she's the one responsible for that on her phone" I was DUMBFOUNDED. What a tool. We called them on Monday about it and spoke to her husband. He was very apologetic and offered me an interview time BWAHAHA yea right...as if I would want to work for some uptight woman with no sense of humour!! they didn't deserve me...their loss though, I AM a hard worker and could have been what they needed. Whatever I got over it.

I ended up back at my original job, but then in April I had a car accident. My poor Peugeot is a write off. Some f*ckwit in a van came onto my side of the road and wiped me out BUT because he failed to pay his insurance, and instead put a TURBO in the stupid van he had the money to make it my fault. I guess it was a case of not what you know but who. My father paid thousands to fight it but to no avail. The driver of the other car obviously gave good head and the prosecuting cop clearly did too, winking at the judge in front of me and all. I mean the other driver, the copper on the scene and the f*cktard witness all had rather elaborate and INCORRECT stories about it , NONE of which even closely matched, but yet it was all my fault? They can all get stuffed. Now I'm awaiting being sued...if they dare to.

So then after the accident I was in a very bad way. I couldn't work. I was taken t hospital with migraine, and I had two people smothering me. I was a total write off myself, again because I allowed it. At the time Lurlene was really good to me, but I was growing weary of it all. I was suicidal...then in May I busted Chris cheating on me again...no matter how hard he denies it...he was cheating. So I bashed him LOL. Well he wasn't understanding my words what else did I have? After being cheated on six times (that I know of!) he is lucky he still breathes!! Oh don't think I didn't have wild fantasies about stabbing him in his sleep! No, I am not generally violent but I do believe I inform people that if my toes are stepped on I will f*ck them up...I can't help it, it's just me and I'm not sorry for it. Lurlene taight me to "drink my cup of concrete and harden the f*ck up" and I did! Lucky I am smart enough to know the balance lol.

So after being on my own again for a while and just learning to find my feet, KNOWING that one day something good had to happen for my life in September I met the man of my dreams. I will never forget the way we looked at each other for the first time. It was truly a movie moment. Then he moved into Lurl and Sean's house to board downstairs. She brought him around for coffee and on the first day I so wanted to give him a hug...but I thought "meh, he is a biker, he won't want a hug" but then I thought No stuff it...it's who I am...I hug my friends So I pout my arms out and said "Oi, gimme a hug! it's what I do!" But not only did he hug me, but he planted the sweetest juiciest kiss on my lips. I was in heaven. I haven't been kissed like that in I don't even know how long!! more than ten years I know that much! lol. Ahhh it was sooooo yummy. After that I was smitten, and so was he. And we have been since. On Christmas day he asked me to marry him...and I said yes. I have never been in love this way before. I thought I had been happy, but now I know really I never have been...this is so different and it's so REAL! I know now I deserve to be happy, and I am so lucky to have found true love finally. And the best thing is?? He doesn't make me feel like I have any reason at all not to trust him. He takes really good care of us all, and he loves us as much as we love him.

Tonight we have the kids home so he is stayng here. He isn't going out with his mates to party...he is a family man and anything he does he wants me to be a part of snd the kids if they are able. I am just so unstressed! lol. I haven't been sick or sore and I haven't had headaches everyday...It's amazing what a bit of true happiness can do to one's health! I feel so good!

I hope you all have a wonderful night tonight. Stay safe and be well...remember, for every two alcoholic drinks you have, have a glass of water in between - hangovers are caused by dehydration - KEEP YOUR WATER UP!!!

Till next year! (lol) xxx

OMG!!!

well forget the photo of the ring that I posted earlier in the month... Australia Post lost the parcel!!! So instead Murray bought me this one...ain't it pretty?? REAL gold and 17 REAL diamonds...I am sooo happy!! He asked me to marry him, while he was on the phone to Jockey (Murray's best mate, one he considers a brother, and our kids call Uncle lol) on Christmas Day...so now we are officially engaged, Jockey will be best man and my very dear friend Liz hinted to me she looks good in red LOL...and OF COURSE I would have no one else as my best bridesmaid ('best bitch' LMAO!!)not sure when the big day will be, but it could yet be years!




I guess I should update from Monday...no rather Sunday eh? lol

So Sunday the kids' father comes to collect the kids to take them to the city at 10am. I told him we wouldn't be back til about 3pm from our ride. Then Jockey showed up and had a bit of a ride on his quad which we are *ahem* babysitting lol...then we were off... YAY! What an awesome day! We went with a couple of mates - Jockey, Clackers and Iain and his missus Belinda. We met up with another mate of theirs, at Redcliffe. We had an excellent lunch and I just love being on that bike!! Belinda wore a boob tube...got sunburnt of course! lol poor girl!
That night after we all parted ways on the road, Murray had a call from Jockey...he'd come off his brother's Harley. Some old coot had just driven straight into him! No indicators no nothing, just drifted across to turn left from the right lane!! Jockey is ok, but very very sore, and has a broken little toe. He did come over to our place yesterday though, we had a boxing day BBQ, here he is with his beautiful grandson, who also came with his mum and dad to BBQ with us lol...


The kids had a great day on Christmas day. It was about 6am, Murray asked me if the kids were up and only Jaana was... "that's not fair!!" says Murray and wakes the boys up like a maniac "GET UP GET UP!!! SANTA'S BEEN!!!" lol. He grabbed Trent from his bed and ran down the hallway with him, spinning around all excited lol. It was so great. Mika got himself a new pushy and cars, Trent got a remote control car and other cars, Jaana got a CD player and a couple of other little things and they all got a quad bike to share, which they actually got last week lol. Jaana has decided now she wants to do motocross lol. Muray said that was ok as long as she keeps it up just around our own property for a year, if she is still into it then next Christmas she will get a new bike !! He wants to be sure of her dedication first because it's very expensive lol.
I got Murray a heap of Jim Beam stuff including a spirit pourer - makes life easier once we've had a few LOL!!

a couple of pics to share (and yea I know, Jaana hasn't got a helmet on but this was when they first got the bike and were going VERY slow...the govener was screwed right in...now that Jaana is more confident the screw has been completely removed lol...she is a NUT! takes it sideways on the track that has been well worn into the back yard lol...they each have their own helmets now, good quality Australian standard ones. The one Trent has on is up to standard too but it's Murray's lol




this is murray's effort at trying to get a pic of me stuffing my face with food LOL!!!! ahhh the beauty of being on the same wavelength HAHA I knew what he was up to!! NER NER!! LMAO!


OK well I'm going to go browse some wedding sites. I have already started planning my dress - so far I know it will have to have a removable skirt so I can get on the bike LOL!!!

Till next time!! xxx

WOOHOO!!

I can't wait to go shopping!!! The first place I'm going to go...is on the chair in front of my computer and visit A Passion for Craft

Check these out!



I have a renewed obsession with chipboard...these are fantastic...I won't post them all...I'll just give the link for all the NEW items in the shop... --> Chipboard And prices range between $2 (YES TWO DOLLARS!!!!) and about $8 I think!

On a different note...Jade is home!! YAY! She is a bit sad that she ISNT getting a DS for Xmas but HELLO?! her dad said he'd get it for her because we are gettng quad bikes for the kids SHHHHH big secret!! lol... she is only here till Saturday so it kinda only feels like a visit...she is spending Xmas with her dad, but what's new? she spent only ONE with us ever and she looked me in the eye and told me it was the worst one ever...and I was crushed because it was the best one the other kids had ever had...anyway movng on!! This year will be fantastic!!

till next time!!